Miettes!

I eat in bed a lot. On Géraud's side of the bed because that's where the computer cord is, and thus the computer. I try to remember to sweep the crumbs away after I'm finished but sometimes I just forget. I also eat a lot while I'm surfing the internet and so my dirrty little fingers type away on his computer. He has probably noticed the cleanliness of his keyboard decreasing. I think one day he tried to comment about how I don't take care of his computer, which I do sorta, better than I would do if it were my own computer. But I think that was just him being sassy. Géraud is becoming sassier by the day, which is kinda just great because it means we laugh a lot and have a good time together. Having a good time while we are together is essential to my well being in this country. If things weren't so good between the two of us, I'd probably be on the next plane out of this miserable country. I mean that in a nice way.

Let me explain you the weather. I might have already talked a bit about the weather, but it really deserves much attention. The sun comes up at 5:30am and stays up until 11:00pm, but there is rarely any actual sunshine. Daylight without sunshine is worse than no daylight. It's a dismal grey fog that hangs around for far too long and disrupts your eating cycle. How am I supposed to know it's dinner time. Yesterday the only time the sun came out and was nice was at 8:00pm at the exact moment we are eating dinner and does a nice glare in your face through the back window effect. This blinding effect forces us to close the curtain and block out the sun. I understand why this country has so many alcoholics. I want to drink all the time inorder to imagine a better world. Right now, as I look out the window, the sky looks as though it might snow and the trees are swaying which means it's windy. If I wanted to be optimistic I'd go buy a kite and some mittens and head down to the park, but I'd rather not let myself get carried away by wishful thinking, again.

That is exactly what got me into this mess in the first place. I just thought, hey, I'll just go move to England and everything will be peachy keen. I thought there'd be shops hiring or at least somebody who knew somebody who needed a helping hand. Not so much the case. Instead, I sit around or walk around looking for job opportunities. They are few and far between. Even the local job centre, which is the unemployment help centre, is full of people looking for work. It's not a buyers market and I am last in the pecking order. This is the pecking order: English, British, EU, Australian/UK Empire, Chinese (for their food), and then American with French boyfriend. My fortune cookie application on facebook says this, "don't get too carried away"! If only I listened. I should have come up with a back up plan, like a book deal or something. Maybe I could write a dirrty romance novel with lots of sexy french sayings mixed in and really hit that Quebecois niche. But mostly, I feel doomed to fail on my current venture unless I meet the right people.

The most promising, and only, response I've had in my job hunt is a group interview at ASDA (the UK part of the Wal-Mart empire). It was very strange and very much an interview where they watch you like and take notes, and that's creepy. There were about 15 of us in this large conference room, sat around a large table, and we played 'games' during which the HR hawks observed us to see if we are ASDA quality. The first part was a 10 minute time period in which we found out about our partner sitting next to us and they found out about us and at the end we report what we learned back to the group; essentially an exercise in small talk and convivability. My partner was Keith, aged 50, with 8 children. His cartoon character would be SpongeBOB. My name was Allyson, I am 22, American and Dora the Explorer. The next part was in partners again, different partners, and I was with a girl my age. We had to design a poster for a new product or any product and then give a presentation in front of the group about our product and also a store greeting where we specifically 'sell' our product. Our product=the perfect panini press. It wasn't original, but it was something we both recently discovered and are infatuated by. Oh yes, indeed! Until you have your own panini press, you have no idea how great it is to use it. So after about 1 hour and 30 minutes it was over and I was glad because the room was terribly cold and I had to pee. I don't expect to hear that I got the job, although I should get my "Thanks for applying" letter by next Tuesday.

I understand that grocery stores can't just hire everyone who applies, but you'd think they'd base it on more than your interaction with some strangers in a frigid room where 4 ladies in lime green vests rate your smile. It's frustrating for me to have spent money on a college education that, so far, has gotten me no where. I thought having a degree would open doors, not just lead me to debt and drugs. I sometimes think about being a anti-college counselor. YEA, sure it's fun, but that is its' only redeeming quality; in my case at least. I just wish that someone along the way would have explained this to me. Then I could be unemployed, but debt free....which is a much better situation anyway you look at it.

Géraud just sent me a text message to inform me that his carte vitale, or social security card, has been stolen. Last week he wrapped it one envelope that was inside a second envelope and I posted it from the Post Office here in Widnes, well it seems as though, the second envelope made it to France but was empty, which means gone, stolen, violated. He wants me to go down to the post office and find out what happened or enquire or do something. I'm pretty sure they are just going to say, Sorry we can't do anything if you didn't get insurance on the letter, which I didn't because I didn't think there would be a problem. My dad mails me credit cards all the time and there is never a problem. This is just bad luck. I feel bad. His things are always getting stolen or broken into or just plain fucked up. But I'll go to the post office and see what can be done and while I'm in town maybe I'll buy a small bottle of wine and drink it and pass out with a paper cup next to my nappy head and with any luck wake up to find a small fortune in coinage.

I think it's drizzling. I feel like I live inside a rain cloud.

Apartment update. We found several nice, furnished 1 bedroom apartments in the area and we have decided to take one that is in Runcorn and not far from Grods work. It is also not trop expensive and is fully furnished with everything we need, including a hotterwatermaker. I'm awaiting the rent application in the mail from the realtor. I was hoping it would arrive today, but that did not happen. We still haven't officially told Nicola that we are moving out. I think she has figured out that we are probably leaving, but isn't for sure yet. It's just so awkward living in the same house as another couple, especially one that you don't know and who has their family over. It makes me feel small.